Truth
by lexiegurl
Summary: Summary is in the story. Contains season 3 spoilers in the summary and in throughout the story, and I didn't want to spoil the end of season 3 for anyone who hasn't seen it. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Truth**

Chapter 1

**This story is about what Jess goes through between the time Colin breaks up with her and the start of the next case and then skips to when Antonio dies. When emotions run high, and feelings get changed, will everyone be able to remain together? Contains spoilers!**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Missing cast or characters, but I wish I did._**

Jess gave Colin the final kiss and walked out of the restaurant. She never even glanced back. "Well, I didn't expect to see you here." The familiar voice said to Jess as she walked towards her car.

"Jack? What the hell are you doing? Following me?" Jess asked enraged.

"No."

"Then what are you doing here?" Jess asked. After a short pause and no answer she just gave up. "You know what, just forget it. I'm going home and don't even think about following me, asking me anything, or even saying anything."

"Bad night?" Jack asked bravely as she began walking back to her car.

She stopped walking, rage flowing through her. "Why do you even care!" Jess asked and yelled at him.

"You look like you had a bad night and I just care about you."

Jess gave a small fake laugh. "This is unbelievable. If I wanted you to know what was wrong I would tell you, otherwise, stay out of my business, got it?"

"Alright." Jack said. "Good night." Jess just threw him an angry glare as she got into her car and drove off. She didn't get very far before she pulled into another parking lot. Tears filled her eyes as she began to cry. Everything she had loved about Colin was gone forever. She knew she shouldn't have done it, she knew she should have stayed back a little, but she didn't. She really thought he loved her back, that she had found her soul mate. She already missed him greatly but she tried to not let it draw her back to the restaurant to try once more. She thought back to the very first time they met.

_She had just chased him through the FBI parking garage and tackled him to the ground._

"_Nice to meet you. I'm Colin." Colin said smiling at her._

"_Well Colin, you're under arrest."_

She was pulled out of the flashback by a knock on her window. 'Oh no, not him again.' Jess thought to her self as she seen Jack at her window again. Her mind was telling her to just drive off but part of her actually believed he cared more then just a friend since he came to check on her again.

"Look Mastriani, I know that there is something really wrong since you're boyfriend also asked me what the hell I was doing at that restaurant, just not as nicely as that." Jack said.

"Colin was mean? To you?" Jess asked in disbelief.

"Why would I lie to you?" Jack asked.

"Right. Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore. Now, I'm going home, and please Jack don't follow me. I'll see you at work. Also, don't say a word to anyone else about me and Colin."

"No problem Jess. See you tomorrow." Jack said as he smiled at her and she drove off.

Jess couldn't have imagined she would ever be that mean to Jack for how bad she felt after Colin. She couldn't believe that Colin was mean to Jack either. Her mind was flowing with so much confusion, frustration, hurt, anger, and more that some of the things she thought just didn't even sound like her own voice, her own mind. All she wanted to do was be home, be in her bed so she could just cry for hours and let everything she felt out. She wanted someone to lean on, but Jack just made her more frustrated, Pollock would never work, and Antonio and Nicole were probably together and she didn't want to ruin their night. At last she saw the parking lot for her apartment. Once she was in her apartment, she saw that she had one message on her answering machine. She wasn't really in the mood to listen to it, but she pondered at who it might be so she played it anyway.

"_Hi Jess. This may seem kind of pointless since I'm only two rooms away from you, but I just wanted to leave this to tell you how much I really do love you. You mean so much to me and I hope that it never changes. So, I love you with all my heart and now I'm going to go tell you what I know. See you soon baby. Bye." _Colin said. The message was left just hours before it had all ended. Jess leaned against a nearby wall before sliding down to the floor in tears. The one person she loved, she truly loved, was gone, forever. She had been crying for about 20 minutes before she finally pulled herself back together. She was extremely hurt but she got up just long enough to get in bed. As she lay in bed, she recalled the first sarcastic thing Colin said in the interrogation room the day they met.

"_Well the truth is, I really like that perfume." Colin said._

"_I'm not wearing any."_

"_Then we must have chemistry."_

"_We don't have anything. You have got grand theft auto." Jess said._

"_Nope. Never took the car. The most you got is vandalism." Colin replied sarcastically._

"_Well I will work on that."_

"_I'll just wait right here." Colin said._

Jess hated recalling these excellent moments. Tears began falling down her cheeks again and she ended up crying herself to sleep.

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"I have to admit, today was a rough day." Nicole said as she sat down on the couch beside Antonio.

"Yeah. Who knew her husband would blow the cover. Just goes to show how strange people are." Antonio said. "But I always know someone I can trust."

Nicole smiled at him. "I do too. It's amazing to think about how our relationship has been. I'm staying with it this time and nothing will ever separate me from you."

"I don't plan on ever leaving you either." Antonio said.

"The times me and you weren't together, I always thought about you and always wondered if we would ever be together again. But I think that we are soul mates and meant to be forever." Nicole said.

"I think we're soul mates too. I mean, if we weren't after the first time we'd never be back together again." Antonio said.

"Yeah. Love is a crazy thing and we are proof." Nicole joked.

"Yes we are." Antonio agreed.

"I wonder how Jess's night is going with Colin after this case." Nicole thought outloud.

"I don't know. That is a good question though. We'll find out tomorrow. Right now, I think I'm going to take a nice hot shower to relax and then I am going to bed."

"Uh-huh. Always walk away." Nicole said.

"What? You are the one that always does that." Antonio said with a smile as he began walking towards the bedroom.

"Ha-ha. Whatever." Nicole said back to him as she got up and followed him. Once she caught up with him, she gave him a quick kiss. "I love you so much Antonio."

"I love you too Nic." Antonio said.

**_Here is my most recent fanfic. I finally got around to putting it up since I finished Betrayal. I'm glad so many people enjoyed that story and I hope you enjoy this one just as much! If the summary is a little confusing, sorry, but it will make sense later on, I promise. Please R&R. 5 reviews and I will put chapter 2 up! Lexie_**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jess awoke to her cell phone ringing very loudly. She glanced at the window and noticed it was still dark, too early to be called to work. She just shut off the ringer, rolled over and started to go back to sleep until her cell began ringing again. This was the third time it had rang and whoever it was had to be extremely determined to get in touch with her. Deep in her heart she wished it was Colin calling to say what a mistake he had made but she highly doubted that. She figured it was Jack with his determination and annoyance he would never give up until she answered or he broke down her apartment door to make sure she was ok. Then her cell began ringing a fourth time. "Ugh!" Jess screamed out loud as she rolled over and picked up her cell not even glancing at the caller ID. "Who ever this is, you better have a good excuse for calling me four times!" Jess yelled.

"Well, someone is in a bad mood this morning." Nicole said.

"No, it's still dark, I'm trying to get some sleep and my cell phone won't stop ringing!" Jess said annoyed still not realizing that she was talking to Nicole.

"Jess, it's me, Nic, calm down." Nicole said.

"Nicole?" Jess asked now clearly becoming confused. "Oh man, I'm sorry I acted like that. I've just had a really bad night and no I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. Well, nevermind, I'll just let you get some more sleep and I'll see you at work in a couple of hours." Nicole said.

"Thanks Nic. See you later." Jess said. She hung up the phone and lay back down in bed as she remembered another good time she had with Colin.

_He had just walked in the restaurant where Nicole and Jess were and sat down beside Jess. _

"_Did you find that hotel room?" Jess asked him._

"_A suite." _

"_Sounds promising."_

"_A king sized bed, cable sports, Jacuzzi bath.." Colin said._

"_For two?" Jess asked already knowing the answer._

"_Is there any other kind?" Colin asked. Jess laughed at the answer. _

For once after last night she actually smiled at that memory with Colin. She sat up in her bed and sighed, wondering what Colin was thinking about right now. Was it about her, or was it about his new life without her? Was he thinking about the memories they shared together like she is? She knew that she would never know but that never stopped her from thinking about it.

Jess knew she wouldn't get back to sleep so she went ahead and got up to start getting ready for work. As she looked around her bedroom she found a picture of her and Colin, smiling, happy together. She yearned for time to turn around back to the moment of that picture when they were the perfect couple. She felt partly like it was her fault, but she was completely willing to wait for him for that year he was gone. She turned around and walked away before she thought about it too much and started crying again.

Jess arrived at work an hour early, noticing Pollock was already there. She tried to avoid him because she knew all too well that if she even started to talk with him she would end up breaking down and she was trying her best to keep it together. She never realized that it could be so hard to just forget about someone that you loved with everything you had and you just can't figure out what went wrong.

Jess sat down at her desk and got caught up in her thoughts about Colin and Jack. She tried to figure out why Jack was so persistent about making sure she was alright last night. Did he know something that she didn't, or was he just being his normal annoying self?

"Hey Jess, what are you doing here so early?" Nicole asked Jess pulling her out of her thoughts. She hadn't even realized she had been there for an hour.

"I couldn't get back to sleep after you called so I went ahead and got ready for work." Jess said hiding the emotional pain she was in right now.

"What happened last night?" Nicole asked obvious to the fact that there was something wrong.

"Nothing happened last night. Just had a bad night that's all." Jess said.

"Well, you don't have a bad night for no reason at all and you look like hell, so what's wrong?" Nicole asked.

Jess sat in silence for a moment. "I'll tell you after work."

"Alright, but just remember we can talk any time that you want to." Nicole reminded her.

"Thanks Nic."

"Hey guys." Jack said as he walked over to where they were. Jess just gave him the meanest glare she could.

"Hey Jack." Nicole said back.

"Oh yeah Jess, I found this beside your car." Jack said as he handed her the small box. She wondered what it could be. She slowly opened it and seen the folded paper inside. She pulled it out and unfolded it gently. It was a letter from Colin that he had written, just hours after Jess had left the restaurant.

_Jess,_

_I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I have always loved you and I regret what happened last night. I'll never forget you and you will always have a special place in my heart._

_Colin_

That hurt Jess more than the breakup itself. She ripped up the paper, threw the shredded pieces on her desk and stormed away from Nicole and Jack. She went to the bathroom and just cried and cried. She never imagined that Colin would break up with her, much less break up with her and then send a letter saying how much he loved her. At that moment she just wanted to run away, get away from the life she had right then but she knew she couldn't and she wasn't going to let Colin get the best of her anymore. At least that's what she thought and she was going to try to do, but as she knew already, letting the one person you love with all your heart go, is extremely difficult, especially when he won't let it go either.

**_Thanks to all of my reviewers! I hope you enjoy this chapter... please R&R... 5 reviews and I'll update it! Lexie_**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"What is with her?" Nicole asked Jack curiously.

"I don't know." Jack said knowing the truth.

"I'm going to go talk to her and see what's going on." Nicole said.

"I wouldn't do that. She had a bad night and obviously she's having a bad day." Jack said once Nicole started walking off.

"Do you know something that happened last night?" Nicole asked curiously.

"No, it's just obvious that she's having a bad day." Jack said trying to cover for himself.

"But how did you know about last night. I know she hasn't talked to you yet." Nicole said starting to get a little aggravated.

"No she hasn't, but you should try to go and see if she'll talk to you about what's bothering her." Jack said.

"You know what is bothering her don't you?" Nicole asked completely aggravated.

"I can't say. I promised her. But let's just say she didn't tell me intentionally." Jack said. Nicole glared at him and walked away to find Jess.

Nicole knew where Jess went since she looked like she was ready to cry for hours after reading whatever was in that box. "Jess?" Nicole asked as she walked in the bathroom. She heard Jess crying and she wanted to help her so bad but she knew too that Jess was like herself, not much of a talker about what was wrong.

Jess looked up at Nicole with a tear streaked face, and still crying. "Jess, what's wrong?" Nicole asked very worried about her friend.

"He won't let it go Nic." Jess said.

"Who?" Nicole asked completely confused.

"Colin. Last night, we broke up, he said he had to go undercover for a year and he didn't want me to wait, but I'm willing, I want to wait! I love him so much that I don't even think he knows it. And then he had to sit here and write that letter and send it to me?" Jess asked fully sobbing now.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's alright. If he broke up with you, he doesn't know the mistake he's making." Nicole reassured her.

"I have tried thinking about that, thinking that it's his mistake, but it's just so hard when you realize how much you really love someone. You can't just give that up, especially since he sent that letter." Jess said.

"You know I'm always here for you girl. Don't worry about him." Nicole said trying to cheer Jess up.

"I wish I could Nicole. Like I said, I just love him so much, and I'll never forget him. I want to see him, I want to be in his arms again." Jess said trying to get her composure back but not being able to.

"Why don't you take the day off? I'll cover for you with Pollock and tell him what happened and all." Nicole recommended.

"Thanks Nicole. I'll do that today." Jess said.

"Good." Nicole said. Jess got her composure back again and walked out with Nicole to their desks. Jess was getting her stuff together when Jack walked back over to her desk.

"You going home?" Jack asked her.

"Yeah." Jess said.

"After what happened last night?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. I don't want to talk about it. Just drop it Jack, ok?" Jess asked him.

"Alright, I was just asking." Jack said.

"Fine. Goodbye. Bye Nic." Jess said as she left.

"Now tell me what you know about last night." Nicole instantly turned to Jack once Jess was gone.

"Um, nothing." Jack said not wanting to get in a fight with Nicole.

"Quit lying and tell me Jack." Nicole said.

"Ok, ok. Last night I seen her in the parking lot of the restaurant that her and Colin were at. She was upset but didn't tell me anything. Then Colin came out and asked me what I was doing there, just not very nicely." Jack admitted.

"And what did you do?" Nicole asked.

"I seen Jess hadn't drove that far before she pulled into another parking lot, so I went to check on her." Jack said. "Then she told me that Colin wasn't her boyfriend anymore and she left to go home."

"Right. Just a little bit of advice, stay back from Jess. She doesn't really want to be bothered by you right now." Nicole told him.

"Well, lucky for her, in 2 hours I go back to the homicide division." Jack said.

"Good. I'm going to go tell Pollock where Jess went." Nicole said.

"Where did Mastriani go?" Pollock asked surprising the both of them.

"She went home sir. I had recommended it." Nicole said.

"For what reason?" Pollock asked her.

"Can we go to your office?" Nicole asked. Pollock nodded and she continued once they were in his office. "I advised her to go home because last night she had a bad night. Colin broke up with her and then today he sent her a letter saying how much he had loved her. She was hurt extremely bad and she just needed to go home and rest sir. I hope you don't mind."

"No agent I don't. Just keep me updated on how she is." Pollock ordered her.

"No problem." Nicole said as she walked out of the office.

Jess had been home for about an hour watching tv when she decided to get up and look at some of the pictures of her and Colin. Even though it might upset her more, she wanted to do it. She went to her bedroom and looked at the picture she had looked at earlier. She remembered another time at the office after she had met Colin.

_She was sitting at her desk looking over video surveillance for the case. Colin walked up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. "Guess who."_

_Jess jumped when he did that. "McNeil. You are going to get yourself hurt sneaking up on me like that."_

_"I was being cautious, I wasn't sure how'd you react." Colin said._

Jess just smiled wishing that she could have more moments like that with him.

"I love you Colin, and I always will." Jess whispered to herself as she looked at the picture.

A few hours later she heard a knock on her door and wondered who it could be. She looked at the time and seen that it could be Nicole, Jack, Antonio or Pollock because they were all off of work now. As she looked out the peephole, she saw Jack standing there. 'Does he ever give up?' Jess thought to herself as she opened the door.

"Jack, what do you want now?" Jess asked him.

"I just wanted to say bye since I'm now back in the homicide unit and I don't know when I'll get to work with you again." Jack said.

"Why do you keep coming back to me?" Jess asked.

"I just want to make sure you're alright after the breakup last night." Jack said.

"I'm fine. That is what I have friends and a job for." Jess told him.

"You've made your point Mastriani. So I guess this is bye." Jack said.

"Yes, this is bye Jack." Jess said.

"Alright, bye Jess." Jack said. Jess just shut her door as he turned and walked away.

"Where was Jess today?" Antonio asked Nicole as they lay down beside each other.

"Colin broke up with her last night." Nicole told him.

"You're kidding right? She loves him to death." Antonio said in disbelief.

"No I'm not kidding. And he had the nerve to send her a note saying how much he had loved her. It's like he's trying to hurt her more." Nicole said.

"I can't believe he would do that." Antonio said.

"I can't believe it either. I wonder if their relationship is really over because Jess told me she is willing to wait for him for that year he is gone." Nicole said.

"I guess we won't know for awhile will we?" Antonio asked.

"Nope we won't." Nicole said. "But I know the one person that I love right now and will always love."

"I'm guessing that's me?" Antonio said jokingly.

"Of course. Always and forever." Nicole said.

Jess held the teddy bear close to her. It was the first gift she had ever gotten from Colin. She would never forget the night he gave it to her.

_"I have a surprise for you." Colin said as he held something behind his back. He had been waiting by her apartment door for her to get home._

_"Really? What is it?" Jess asked excitedly._

_"Hold out your hands." Colin said. Jess did. "My little gift from me to you." Colin smiled._

_"Aww, Colin it's so cute. Thank you." Jess said as they slipped each other a kiss._

As Jess recalled that night, a single tear fell from her eye and she just hugged the teddy bear closer.

That was the closest thing she had to Colin and that would probably be the last closest thing she would ever have from him. She knew she would never get rid of that bear and that would keep her spirit up so maybe, just maybe one day he would come back to her, and tell her that leaving her was the biggest mistake of his life.

**_Thank you to all of my reviewers! I'm glad so many people are enjoying this story! There are many more twists to come in all of the upcoming chapters! Next chapter: Colin sends one last thing to Jess, but there is one word that he says that Jess notices. Please R&R. 5 reviews and I'll update, I promise! Lexie_**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"It's only been two days Nicole, and I feel like I am falling apart so badly." Jess told her.

"You're not. You're actually holding up fairly good Jess." Nicole said.

"Only because, I have the slightest hope that he will come back to me one day." Jess said.

"That's good Jess. At least you do have some hope and you haven't given up on anything completely." Nicole said.

"Yeah, I guess so. At work I may seem alright, but at home, I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I see a picture of me and him and I can't help but cry." Jess said.

"How about we go for some drinks tonight? Get your mind off of him." Nicole suggested.

"I'd love that Nicole." Jess said smiling.

"Hey Nic, Jess." Antonio said. "Uh, Jess. I hate saying this but this came for you."

"Who is it from?" Jess asked silently hoping it was Colin, but hoping it wasn't too.

"I have no idea." Antonio said.

"Let's find out." Jess said as she opened the small box just like yesterday. It was a small version of the teddy bear she held close to her last night. Attached to it was a small note from Collin, again.

_Hey Jess,_

_I found this, and I remembered it looks like the very first gift I got you. This will be the last time I will be able to write to you and the last gift I can send to you before I go undercover. Just remember, I love you Jess, and once again I am very sorry about the other night and I hope one day we will meet again._

Jess looked Nicole in the eyes and Nicole had the most sympathetic look she had ever had. "Jess,-"

"No, don't even say it." Jess said.

"Maybe he doesn't want to leave you after all." Antonio said.

"If that was the case then why did he leave me? Why did he not want me to wait for him? Why does he keep sending me these gifts?" Jess asked her frustration building.

"Listen to yourself Jess, you're losing it." Nicole said fearing for her friend now.

"Wouldn't you lose it too? He said he's breaking up with me, but he keeps sending me gifts! I DON'T GET IT NICOLE!! Explain it to me please, why is he hurting me so much?!" Jess yelled in complete frustration, tears streaming down her face.

"Jess maybe he's not doing this to hurt you. Maybe he's doing this because he still does love you." Nicole told her. All of the yelling and screaming that Jess was doing had drawn Pollock over there to see what was going on.

Jess just faked a laugh. "Oh yes, Nic. He's sending me gifts after he broke up with me. He's saying that he loves me. Not LOVED, LOVES! Why does he say he loves me when he's gone?!" Jess wanted answers so badly right now.

"I don't know Jess. If I did I would tell you." Nicole said.

"You see, no one has answers. Not even Colin. I'm going out to get away from this and everything and just relax." Jess said. She turned around and almost ran into Pollock.

"Go ahead agent. Just be back in about 2 hours alright?" Pollock told her.

"Yes sir." Jess said.

"Follow her Scott." Pollock said.

"Why sir?" Nicole asked confused.

"Mastriani is scared, hurt, upset, and frustrated. That is not a good combination plus adding being alone, that's asking for trouble." Pollock said. "And keep me updated."

"No problem sir." Nicole said.

Nicole went down to the FBI parking garage and watched Jess leave before she got into her own car and followed her. After following her for awhile she seen that Jess pulled into a park that her and Colin were at one night after they left a movie. She watched Jess get out and slowly walk over to a bench that was under a big oak tree.

Jess sat down in the bench under the oak tree. She hung her head down and closed her eyes just trying to figure out what was going on between her and Colin. She wondered what he was trying to tell her because she knew that he was trying to tell her something. Then she remembered the night that her and Colin were together at this exact spot, the night he told her his secret about what he had been through as a teen.

_"You're not really psychic at all are you?" Colin asked as they walked toward the bench._

_"I resent that." Jess said._

_"You're beautiful."_

_"And my resentment is slowly melting." Jess said as they gave each other a kiss._

Jess took a deep breath knowing what she wanted to do; she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew he didn't go undercover for 2 more hours, she still had a chance, but in the back of her mind she thought that if she went and talked to Colin it might ruin what little bit could be hanging on in the relationship.

She looked up and around the park before her eyes fell on Nicole's car. She couldn't believe this. Nicole had followed her! Jess got up and started walking over to her own car so she could drive off somewhere else even though she knew Nic would follow. She wanted to get mad at Nicole and Pollock, but she just knew she couldn't because they were only looking after her. She got into her car and just drove to her apartment because she wanted the one thing that would bring her close to Colin again. That one teddy bear. The one that he had bought a mini version of. When she got home she compared the two and couldn't believe that he had gotten them so close. That had to mean something and she was going to figure it out.

Her two hours were almost up so she decided it was time to head back to the office and finish the reports that she had been putting off for the last two days. When she got there Pollock and Antonio were waiting. "What?" Jess asked.

"Nothing. Just making sure you're alright." Pollock said.

"I'm fine." Jess said. "I'm just going to finish my paperwork and then go home for the night. And sir, thanks for caring about me so much."

"You saw Scott?" Pollock asked.

"Yeah, I did. She does lousy surveillance." Jess joked.

Antonio and Pollock laughed at that. "We're glad you're feeling better." Antonio said.

"Yeah, for the time being I am. Tomorrow will be better." Jess said. "I'm going to go finish my report."

Several hours had passed and Jess finally finished her report. She was so glad to be done with that. Her, Nicole and Antonio all headed out for drinks once she was finished. "So the biggest case of the year, finally behind all of us. Aren't you glad that very thick report is done Jess?" Nicole asked.

"Oh yes, I will never put off my reports again." Jess said laughing for once in the past two days.

"See why we never do." Nicole said making Jess truly smile.

"I sure do. I'm going to go ahead and go home because I am super tired but I will see you guys tomorrow." Jess said.

"Alright. Good night Jess." Nicole said.

"Good night." Jess said back as she left.

"Why don't we go ahead and head home too?" Nicole asked.

"Sure." Antonio agreed.

None of the team knew this, but tomorrow was going to bring one of the most challenging and life changing cases ever.

**_Thank you to all of my reviewers! Sorry for the long wait. Next chapter starts where the series finale left off. Please R&R. 3 Reviews and I'll update! Lexie_**


	5. Chapter 5

Truth

**Truth**

**Chapter 5**

**A/N: The beginning of the chapter starts from the season 3 /series finale…. MAJOR spoilers….. This chapter starts from right before Antonio gets in the truck and instead of Nicole and Antonio only being there, it is Nicole, Antonio and Jess.**

"I love you Antonio." Nicole said as she walked back over to her car where Jess was waiting for her. Everyone else, including Jack had left. Jess had totally seen the whole hook up thing again.

"I love you too Nicole." Antonio said as he got in the truck.

"So are you glad to be back with Antonio?" Jess asked as they were getting ready to get in her car.

Suddenly they heard an extremely loud explosion. They turned around to see the truck that Antonio had been in, engulfed in flames. "Antonio! Antonio! Antonio!" Nicole screamed and cried out. Jess just stood there in disbelief. She couldn't even say or think anything at all.

Jess looked over at Nicole who could barely even stand up from the shock, horror and disbelief on what just happened. She ran over to where Nicole was before she collapsed to the ground. "Nicole." Jess said. Nicole never even took her eyes off of the truck.

Nicole finally lost control and fell to the ground in complete tears. The love of her life, the one person she loved forever, was now gone forever. The reality of Antonio being gone forever had just hit Jess. She too ended up collapsing to the ground tears running down her cheeks. This was too much for her to handle. Her and Nicole gave each other a hug and cried to each other about what they just saw.

They watched the truck burn the rest of the way before being able to get composed enough to call Pollock.

"I'll call him Nicole." Jess said since Nicole couldn't even talk right now because of the shock of what she had just witnessed.

Nicole just nodded in agreement, letting Jess take over. Nicole was sitting on the ground with her head leaned up against the side of her car. "Hi sir." Jess said.

"Mastriani, is everything alright?" Pollock asked off of Jess's choked up tone.

"No sir it's not. Right after you left sir, Antonio got in the truck and when he went to start it up-" Jess couldn't even finish the sentence. "The truck blew up sir. Antonio was inside."

"Cortez is dead?" Pollock asked in pure shock.

"Yes sir he is." Jess said as her voice clearly showed her pain of yearning for the ones she loved that were gone now.

"I'll be out there in 10 minutes." Pollock said not wanting to believe what he was hearing.

As soon as Pollock arrived on scene, the flame from the explosion had died way down to just a glowing light in the late night. He walked over to where Nicole and Jess were sitting. "It's true. I can't believe it." Pollock said.

"After all we did to protect him, to avoid letting that psycho getting to him, and we failed sir. We failed to protect him." Nicole said in tears.

"Oh Scott, I am so sorry. It's not our fault, we did all we could." Pollock told her.

"Come on Nic, we should leave and let forensics do their job. We should go to my apartment for the night and just talk so we can calm down." Jess suggested to Nicole.

"I can't leave him Jess." Nicole told her.

"You have to Nicole. It will be easier on us by not being here Nicole. You know I love him like a brother and I want to stay here just as much as you do." Jess reminded her.

"Fine." Nicole said reluctantly. "I love you Antonio, I always will." Nicole whispered to Antonio even though she knew he was gone.

Jess climbed into the driver's side of the car and Nicole got in the passenger's side. They drove over to Jess's apartment so that they could talk and try to regain their composure and start the long recovery process to everything that they had just lost.

They arrived at Jess's apartment and sat down on the couch to begin talking. "Jess, what just happened back there? Was it real?" Nicole asked wondering if everything was just a bad dream.

"Yes Nicole. It was all real. Antonio is gone." Jess said slowly trying to comprehend everything herself.

"Jess how could we, how did we let this happen?" Nicole asked, her fear of being alone and away from Antonio building.

"I really don't know but there was nothing we could've done." Jess said realizing her life was going downhill, and downhill fast.

"We could have saved him Jess; we could've prevented that bomb from going off!" Nicole said before breaking into tears once again. She was scared of being away from Antonio for a week and now she would have to live the rest of her life without him. She had no idea how she would be able to do it. Antonio was her life, her joy, the one person that she loved, and truly loved.

Nicole buried her face in her hands as she cried and cried and cried. Jess couldn't help but to cry also. Jess leaned over and hugged Nicole close as they continued to talk. "Look Nic, don't blame this on yourself. You are not the one that killed Antonio." Jess said.

"Then why do I feel like it's my fault. Why do I feel like all of this is my fault? Just when we gave our relationship the third and final chance, the one chance that it would probably work, he gets killed." Nicole said wondering why life could be so harsh sometimes.

"Look Nicole, I blamed myself for Colin breaking up with me. But I knew that it wasn't really my fault. No one but the psycho that we killed can be blamed for this." Jess said holding it together for Nicole.

"If only it was that easy to accept. I don't think that there is anything in this world that will get rid of the way I feel. I guess I should be grateful that I got to tell him I loved him one last time." Nicole said accepting the fact that all of this was a horrifying reality.

"Yeah, you should be. I know this is a hard blow to you but if I can make it through two blows, Collin and now Antonio, I know that you can make it through this." Jess said. "I have total faith in you." Nicole just looked up and smiled at how Jess believed in her. She knew deep down that if it wasn't for Jess, she would be so upset right now that she would probably die. "Let's go and see if we can get some sleep Jess, I need it." Nicole said.

"Alright, if that's what you want." Jess said. So the two stayed at Jess's apartment for comfort through this hard time. What they didn't know was how hard getting through this next week would be for everyone including Pollock and especially Jess.

**I'm back finally thanks to summer vacation!! Thanks to all of my readers who have reviewed my stories over the past year despite my lack of updates. Please tell me which stories you want to me to continue on, The FBI Baby or continuation of Betrayal. Which one first?? In the meantime though, this one will be updated frequently because I realized last night that I have chapters 6 through 12 already written. Thanks again to everyone and now I will go to read and review everyone else's stories!**


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